Let's pretend this never happened : (a mostly true memoir) /

In an illustrated memoir, the creator of the Bloggess blog shares humorous stories from her life, including her awkward upbringing in Texas and her relationship with her husband.

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Main Author: Lawson, Jenny, 1979-
Format: Book
Published:New York : G.P. Putnam's Sons, c2012.
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Table of Contents:
  • Introduction
  • I Was a Three-Year-Old Arsonist
  • My Childhood: David Copperfield Meets Guns & Ammo Magazine
  • Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel
  • Don't Tell Your Parents
  • Jenkins, You Motherfucker
  • If You Need an Arm Condom, It Might Be Time to Reevaluate Some of Your Life Choices
  • Draw Me a Fucking Dog
  • And That's Why Neil Patrick Harris Would Be the Most Successful Mass Murderer Ever
  • No One Ever Taught Me Couch Etiquette
  • Just Your Average Engagement Story
  • It Wasn't Stew
  • Married on the Fourth of July
  • There's No Place Like Home
  • A Series of Helpful Post-it Notes I Left Around the House for My Husband This Week
  • The Dark and Disturbing Secrets HR Doesn't Want You to Know
  • If You See My Liver, You've Gone Too Far
  • My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking
  • Phone Conversation I Had with My Husband After I Got Lost for the Eighty Thousandth Time
  • And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a Serial Killer
  • Thanks for the Zombies, Jesus
  • Making Friends with Girls
  • I Am the Wizard of Oz of Housewives (In That I Am Both "Great and Terrible" and Because I Sometimes Hide Behind the Curtains)
  • The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door
  • An Open Letter to My Husband, Who Is Asleep in the Next Room
  • Just to Clarify: We Don't Sleep with Goats
  • Stabbed by Chicken
  • It Wasn't Even My Crack
  • Honestly, I Don't Even Know Where I Got That Machete: A Comic Tragedy in Three Farts Days
  • I'm Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest
  • And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles
  • Hairless Rats: Free for Kids Only
  • And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane
  • You Can't Go Home Again (Unless You Want to Get Mauled by Wild Dogs)
  • Epilogue
  • The End (Sort of)
  • True Facts
  • Acknowledgments

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